Deehan's Pensieve

I feel the pain but I am feeling deeply loved the more.

It has been several days after the storm and I lost track of the date. Sundays and Thursdays are the days that I keep on waiting and the days which remind me of the days that passed. I don't mind the date. I perform my duties in the church every Sunday and Thursday. I feel blessed being a member of the Church of Christ's choir. When I sing to my God, all the pain goes away.I rarely cry in front of other people. I cry my heart out during my devotional prayers and every time I sing during worship services. The best antidote for this pain is only God.I have seen,heard and felt so much sadness recently but God made stronger now. It was terrible when my best friend cried because she didn't know where were her parents after the storm totally shattered their house into ugly debris. She couldn't contact them. My best friend has been staying downtown while her parents remained staying in their old house. It was near a river and with so many trees. It was a very good refuge during summer days. Yes,it was. There was nothing in those cool shades of trees that warned us that one day,it could be the source of great remorse. Those trees fell in their house and the strong wind has blown away their roofs. Havoc filled the air .The water in the river became unfriendly. It felt like I won a million bucks when the next day,my best friend told me her parents were alive . I never felt that kind of happiness recently. It was a frenzy!

If you ask anyone in our house now, no one can exactly say what is the date today right away. We have been very busy after the typhoon. I have been busy making my heart strong.

I fully trust in the will of my God. I thank Him that my family and dogs are all safe. Our family business is gone,temporarily.I know we will recover.I have been experiencing His great love everyday of my life. God has been proving me what I needed the most. I will forever guard my heart so that I will not fall prey to evil's  ideologies now masquerading as "practicality" and worst, "common sense". Even if it's bitter,they'll say it's sweet.I have been warned that this day will really come.

I will continue working on my thesis and I will realize my dreams. After graduation, I will visit Iglesia Ni Cristo temple at Quezon City together with my family. It will be a dream come true. I have always wanted to be able to afford sending my whole family to a vacation and attend worship service together at INC temple. It has been my plan to become a university professor and I am very close to that now. I can feel it.It makes me feel happy knowing that the plans I've written and declared that I will work hard to get  are the plans that will make me closer to God.I will never forsake my duties in the church. I won't exchange this divine duty to a plate of rice. I have been praying for wisdom everyday. I pray for wisdom so that I won't be lured by a wolf wearing a sheep's benign face.

I will pass this life trial. Typhoon Pablo was able to blow away our family's business and our roofs but not my determined heart and lofty dreams. I shall emerge victorious!