I love You Grandpa

Posted Tuesday, June 14, 2011 by deehan1914

I love You Grandpa
*note: I posted this on my FS and FB years ago..I am posting it again here for you to be reminded of the simple things in life....Before you read..please have sometime to think about your grandparents...Think of that sweet way they smile upon seeing you

Yes, honestly I am now sad. ..
Sad that I am not there now near my ill grandfather… I wish to comfort him and give him my super hug like what we used to do. I wish to go home and I wish to have our afternoon walks again. I miss the way he calls my name.
I am sad because I am afraid i might have brought him a lot of worries and I am afraid I am running out of time in showing him I don't mean to disappoint him. I am afraid my mea culpa is not enough.

I'm currently full of regrets.

I should have not screamed at my naughty brother knowing that it would break his heart hearing his only two grandchildren fighting. I should have been calmer.
I should have not gone home late during high school days so that we should have had our afternoon walks together with his dog. I was busy with school things and I failed to realize what a bliss it should have been to my grandfather if we walked together as he wished.
I should have been more mindful of his request. I know I was wrong when I prioritized my friends.
and above all....I should have not made him worry about me when I seemed to be a brat.

I am afraid I might not have enough time to show him that I miss our old days.
I am afraid I might not have enough time to make him feel that his only granddaughter cared for him beyond words could say.
I am afraid I am not doing now what should be done.

But this I am certain,

He loves me even if I sometimes disappoint him.
I guess it is not right to feel so sad.
I should be glad that He is my super Tatay...
I feel blessed in the grandeur way at times this thing crosses my mind- My family is amazing...

* My grandfather died a year after I wrote that.. and he was buried on the same date that I celebrated my birthday.. There was no other available date  for friends and relatives to come  that time..except Aug 16, 2009...STRANGE!!

Still.. I believed that God arranged it that way so that... on my every birthday celebration... I will always remember how triumphant my grandfather  was... that his death was  not something I should always consider as a sad thing...(though I still caught myself feeling that way even up to now)... My Tatay finished his race... and his life was beautiful... how about mine? How about yours? How will we make it beautiful?

I will always remember my grandfather... hopefully like the way he used to remember me when it was already meal time.

* Tatay/Lolo means Grandfather in Filipino Language.


Graduating: A Marawi City Context

Posted by deehan1914

Graduating: A Marawi City Context
*note: This was written years ago, when I was about to have that whimsical graduation march

One of the numerous mosque located at MSU Marawi City Campus

It has been four years of seemingly endless trudge and right at this very moment the Lanao lake looked more beautiful than when I first laid my very eyes on it.

The Administration Building which sports the historic Okir design

 It was on the month of  May years ago when due to the failure of a college assurance plan I was left with no choice but to try my luck here in Marawi City and was blessed to be in one of the premiere state university in Mindanao, the Mindanao State University. Honestly, I had no plans of being on this university because I am from Compostela Valley Province and this place is 16 hours away from home, not to mention the intriguing stories flying around the country and across decades about this province.

The covered walk where I usually bumped with some church mates 

 This place has been the training ground of most of the smartest and talented young Surigaonons (whose dialect always fascinates me), Butuanons, and those who hail from the distant Palawan, Tawi-tawi and Basilan. Equally, this province has been known as the training grounds of the country’s famous rebels and in its mountains where probably their sons and daughters who are my age dreaming of what other places look like. Our classroom, in most cases, was a pool of students having different dialects even though most of us were from Mindanao. Every day was a revelation of cultural differences and most significantly, another day towards cultural understanding.

This scenery is divine!

 I know it was not only by sheer luck that I was never one of those being reported as kidnapped (just like one of my favorite Biology teacher), mobbed, rampant hold-ups and the like. Being in this place requires higher dose of discipline and a sharp intuition for danger, things which I will be always thankful of practicing. One is supposed to be not roaming around too early nor too late. What   is early and late maybe relative but when I arrived here, I understood what is the strict definition of it. That means you have to get your share of the thing called dinner at 5th street by 6, have your photocopies by 7 and dormitories are closed by 8. In the morning, only P.E classes starts by 6 am and the climate was always conducive for learning (and sleeping). I was told not to go out too early nor too late because skilled hold-up enthusiasts are mostly roaming around that time. I guess they were wrong. I had more friends who were victims in broad daylight. Perhaps, the evil men changed schedules. One might wonder why plenty of us liked it here when we can insist of not staying here given the above stated challenging scenarios.

The MSU Grandstand stands as a silent witness to the scenery facing it 

I think I cannot represent the entire MSU populace but still, my answers are the following: first, there is no place as culturally and at the same time academically challenging as in this place here in the Philippines. The MSU system just produced the first female Meranao who topped in the Bar exam plus numerous engineering, fisheries, and social works folks who made to the top lists in their respective Board exams.  Second, the sceneries here are all appearing unique to me. The “Sleeping lady” across the Lake is a must see. Third, perhaps, just because I was left with no other choices, there is no other challenging place to me as this place. Looking back, it was just like yesterday that I was so curious about the amplified unfamiliar Islamic call for prayer, it was just like last week that I chilled and enjoyed the fog and it was just like last month that I met and bonded with the truthfully promising people from Mindanao’s cultural minority groups.

The MSU College of Law loves the color yellow very much

 I am writing because I am happy. I am happy because I know my parents will soon come here and wear those smiles that I have been longing to see. I am writing because I am hoping that my parents are proud of me even if I will not graduate cum laude (I will just graduate on time). I am writing because I am feeling so blessed about all I have been through and I am feeling so good about being that next successful entrepreneur. And to top it all, I am writing because this has always been my way of expressing me.

The Dimaporo Gymnasium was named after the popular clan Dimaporo

In plenty ways my classmates and I were different but it never meant that we never found common grounds or arrived at a mutually satisfactory resolution because I have just proven to myself that we could. I have high respects to my friends who are practicing Islam ways not only because they have given me respects when I practice my Christian ways but because I was taught that it was the right thing to do and hence, I will continue believing and practicing. Still, respect is different from tolerance.

The Peace Plaza who witnessed my efforts during our several Product Exhibits 

The exact feeling I am feeling now could not be contained within the framework of one word. The feeling is the summation of joy, pride, excitement, curiosity, eagerness and hopefulness. I had my share of carrying a typical state university student woes and I am finally done facing the ugly faces of confusing questionnaires.

This is where I was usually seated as I scribbled my thoughts in some parchments

I hope to see the fulfillment of my dreams in my “list of dreams” one by one as I continue to license myself to best attract opportunities. I will not cry because my stay here is about to end, I’d rather smile because all those things that happened shaped my heart and soul into becoming this optimistic risk-taker.

This is what you can see when you are seated at the second floor of the MSU Main Library,nostalgic beyond words

Why I Love Musicians

Posted Wednesday, June 8, 2011 by deehan1914

Nella Fantasia

"In my fantasy I see a fair world,
Everyone lives in peace and honesty.
I dream of souls that are always free,
Like a cloud that floats,
Full of humanity in the depths.

In my fantasy I see a bright world
Night there is less darkness.
I dream of souls that are always free,
Like a cloud that floats.

In my fantasy exists a warm wind,
That breathes into the city, as a friend.
I dream of souls that are always free,
Like a cloud that floats,
Full of humanity in the depths."

Here is a humble man that touched me deeply today. I spent time looking for the English translation of the song he sang which perfectly moved me and yes, I was satisfied and in tears.

I never thought that all of my worries and insecurities will all tarnish during my 30 minutes break today. I usually complain that a 30 minutes break is too short for a stressed worker like me. Of course, like the billions of other people today, I enjoy my facebook very much. My curious mind and inquisitive spirit brought me to a youtube link and it was Korea's Got Talent show. This franchise is a sure blockbuster! This 
Korean reality television show premiered on 4 June 2011 on the tvN Asia. The show was based on the Got Talent series format that originated with Britain's Got Talent. This is the show's first series in Korea. It is hosted by Grant Denyer, with Park KolleenJang Jin and Song Yun-ah acting as judges. Undeniably, the show became phenomenal after Sung-Bong Choi's appearance .The fame and love he got will surely be not equivocal.

Sung-Bong Choi is an orphan who ranaway from an orphanage because he said he was beaten there. He described that he was like a fly. He lived in public toilets, stairs and pavements. He survived by selling gums on the road. He is currently doing manual works and he finds singing the sole escape to his challenging arena.  I was amazed when I learned that he ran away when he was 5 years old and he survived the streets for 15 years now.

His fascination began when he saw a vocalist in a bar singing soulfully. I am thrilled to know who that vocalist was. I think the vocalist never realized how he influenced a young street vendor. I want to be someone like that vocalist.

The video gave me Goosebumps and it was moving beyond words. Others argued that the story is a fake; well I must say that if it is really like that, then I am still thankful because I am moved. I don’t care if it was untrue! It brought emotions that I really appreciate- emotions that I don’t get to feel every day. The emotion is so strange that I don’t even know how to name it and I am afraid that the description will never be contained within the framework of words.

That is the main reason why I love books, music, and of course those people behind it. How joyful is it to meet people who remained humble and positive amidst the severely sick world? How lovely is it to have the ability to inspire others without even trying so hard? How wonderful is it to touch hearts? A fiction or not, I love the video very much!

Today, I wonder if I have become a silent inspiration for anyone. I wonder if I was able to touch hearts. Certainly, my life should be in that way.

I want to meet and congratulate the vocalist at the bar that Sung-Bong Choi saw and then I want to hug them both.