Deehan's Pensieve

I think everyone wants to travel and see how picturesque the world really is. Everyone wants too feel the breeze on their skin in a foreign land. The feeling is so addictive that everyone is working so hard for a year just to pay for their one-week dream vacation. It's one of the best way to blow your hard earned bucks!

Last Saturday, I went to school and then visited National Bookstore. I like it there!  I LOVE it there! I always go there whenever I visit the mall and check latest books even if I don't intend to buy just yet. I am saving money for my thesis and buying fiction books is now a no-no! One day.. I will be able to buy all the books I love and I can have my dream library! They said you'll always desire what you didn't have or enjoy much as a kid. Yes, I didn't like the books my father  had. Those weren't child friendly ( I'm talking about Agricultural statistics books and many other books about Cavendish Bananas). I don't remember I had much books but I remembered how I tried to read what I had- again and again. I am highly visual . I think I could have been a painter if I really pursued that interest. Ha ha ha!

I also enjoy knowing more about a place. The interest started when I read novels about the war-torn Russia. Wow! Reading those books is one of the most amazing thing in the world! Imagine getting yourself in a certain time and being able to compare it with what's happening now. I especially liked comparing how a place looks like . The before-and-after pictures are always making my jaw drop. What a beautiful and very curious world! Reading novels like these is called time-traveling -- without the inconvenience of  finding that robotic time-travel machine!

I bought a small world map in that store . It's so small. I got so thrilled about it ( duh the little things that thrill me to the bones! ) . Now, I want a world map mural in my room before the end of this year! That's it. I got so much happiness re-learning ( I must stress "re".. hahaha ) the location of each countries. Right now, I am very much interested of Bhutan ( I finally know where it is! ) .

I googled some world map murals and I am soooo green with envy! I want something like these murals or wallpapers in my room too!

I like this one except that the map has no country names and other legends. I think this will look perfect with a detailed map on top!However, I think this is purely for interior design purposes. How am I gonna stare comfortably in that map? My purpose is to educate myself. It's purpose over "interior-design thing". Just like my "comfort over fashion" thing! But oh! If they can go together it will be perfect!

Oh! I never had a map as big as this at school. T.T I want to have this ! I am actually thinking that this kind of wallpaper is easier to find than the rest of the pictures here. I hope I can find!

If I'll get married, I'll make my kids love maps too!

I never had the chance to play in a room like this. So, I want to have one for my future son. ( Ha ha ha when will that be? I don't even have a boyfriend now. cheers! )

I want my room to look like this now. I can save space and it's really cool to know a lot about the location of each countries then dig more using the internet!

This is also very nice. I love how the books are placed on top.

I love the vibrant colors but I still prefer a minimalist one.

This is totally adorable! I will surely recreate this in my future house! I love the simplicity and the cleanliness!

The map is covered by the bed. I like the pink map and it should have not been covered by that bed. It won't serve its purpose!

This is sooooooo nice! I like detailed maps!

If this was my room when I was young, I maybe had so much stiff-neck troubles due to constant craning over the map.

I like the design but you know, I still love a bathroom with 2-3 shades. I want the bathroom to be relaxing and this design doesn't answer that desire.

This is it! The map should not be placed where it will be difficult to see it!

This is also cool but I wish to see the entire living room arrangement and not just this angle.

This is 100% awesome!

I LOVE THIS! I want a house painted like this one too!

Again, the map shouldn't be covered. I will remove that chair and I will be thankful for that gorgeous light!

The room in our attic looks like this minus the map.

I wanted and interactive map. A touch-screen map. A screen as big as that! It's like when you tap Brazil , you can then see its top tourist spots and many other interesting facts!

If for art's sake, yes I can have this in my living room but I would still insist a detailed map in my room.

I love this and I love the dog there. Ha ha ha!

I want an office like this!

note: All photos were just googled. I don't own them (but wish I do..haha )

It's true.When the going gets tough,the tough gets going!I must endure!"When things are difficult, strong people take action and do not despair."That's it!

I've been really busy thinking about my thesis. I haven't even got a haircut.Oh well,it seems that my hair now has a mind of its own.It goes wherever it pleases.Oh! I need a haircut!I had two weeks off from school and I did all sorts of relaxation I could possibly have because this November will be really challenging.Yes, I forgot the haircut thing!

I am having a sore throat now and yesterday was the most terrible. I couldn't work because I couldn't talk  I know I've been harsh to my vocal chords by often screaming joyfully whenever my Dog learns a new trick and telling almost everyone I know about it (Oh just like now..hahaha ). I could actually say same lines,  with same energy to different people if it's about my Dog! (Of course , with eyes teeming with happiness ! ) This sore throat is possibly because of the weather and because I've been not really taking care of my throat . Today, I resumed teaching and I've been very touched ( I am a softy, you know!) when students sent their messages hoping I'll be fine soon. I think I can be really very fine soon because many people are thinking and praying for me! How sweet!

Here are their  messages:
Student #1
" I hope you get well soon!" 

This is from a student living in Yokohama-shi.She's my student every morning!

Student #2
" Teacher Janie, I am sorry for writing to you without permission .. I am the student who was to have a lesson from you at 24:30 November the 5th. I heard that you were ill  ;(  and I couldn't help writing to you and saying I really hope you will get well soon ! Please take good care of yourself, sometimes freed from your studies and work. I am looking forward to seeing you again in the next lesson ! Mythy "


This one is from another student who can talk as fast as I can!
-

Student #3
"Janie-san,take care and I want to hear your voice soon.You are always happy and busy .Please relax your voice. I received the notice from GNA about your condition. I understand so don't worry.See you!"

This is from an old lady living with her cats. I just love her stories!


Life is really great!  This is what I like about this job,it really doesn't feel like working! I never thought I'll become a teacher. I initially wanted to become a nurse . Nursing used to be popular here and my best friend Honey wanted to become a nurse (she is a nurse now). I never really had an idea of what should I become. Oh, I am so scared of blood, corpses and I am a softy - no good to become a nurse! For me, a hospital is a very stressful place. I am sad whenever old people are left behind by their relatives and are there by themselves. I also think it's a very risky job. What if I'll give the wrong medicine??? I just can't imagine how tragic it will be! I took up a business degree because my father doesn't want me to study English more.He insisted that I am already good at it so I must not study it. I protested but he won. Oh, I actually won! I became an English teacher even with a business degree.Hahaha! I had my OJT in a bank but I never liked working in a bank. I will die with the tons of paper works! Teaching is what I want. I realized that so late! It was only when I started teaching with GNA. Now, I am working but I never had that "Monday Blues". I look forward of seeing students. I enjoy teaching kids,single moms, busy dads, charming grandmothers, funny grandfathers, university students and Japanese English teachers who are still taking GNA lessons to polish their English skills. It's so interesting! I can talk with so many things. In the bank, I will only talk about "banking" matters. I find that really boring!  Now, my goal is to become a University Professor. I will become one!

Oh! I have a VERY good news! I got exempted for the Comprehensive Exam. That means I got the average necessary for me to proceed into writing my thesis right away! So Happyyyyyyyyyy!!! I thank God for the wisdom! I already got my thesis adviser and I like his being enthusiastic. I am hopeful I'll graduate next year. I must graduate this term because it's so expensive to go to school . I must finish this!

Anyway, I recently got another favorite from Jollibee( a fast food restaurant in PH , it's like McDonald's).
It's their new Milo Blast!






This has been my ultimate love -Peach Mango Pie from Jollibee!



 note: photos were just googled.




I should be fine soon so that I can eat my Milo Blast! Good night!

Sometimes I don't talk about how I feel, I often sing about it!
I have always loved Adele. Her voice is so powerful that it really summons real emotions.
I just love this song very much!
SOME lines are really true to how I feel now. <3 (not all the lines okay?haha)


Hiding My Heart Away Lyrics

This is how the story went I met someone by accident
| It was really sheer accident, I smile every time I am reminded of how it all started , really uncanny |

It blew me away, it blew me away
| Really, I was blown away!Kay nganung bright paman ka naku? Hahah | 
 
It was in the darkest of my days  
| Yeah, it was one of the darkest hour in my life because I was about to take an examination which I was so sure I won't do well |

When you took my sorrow and you took my pain 
| You were beyond entertaining,you were errrr ANNOYING I didn't like that you interrupted me while I was studying| 

And buried them away, you buried them away
| Yeah, you kept asking questions and I wondered why I answered them. Oh well, I'm not really rude you know. I won't roll my eyes in front of a stranger |

 
I wish I could lay down beside you when the day is done  
| I wanted to get married to someone like you..someday..someday |

And wake up to your face against the morning sun 
| And see how both terrible and adorable you will look|

 But like everything I've ever known, you disappear one day  
| Yeah, you needed to disappear and I let you go because it was "heroic"|

So I spend my whole life hiding my heart away
| Yes, you're one of the reasons |
 
Drop me off at the train station  
| No, there's no train station.. bus nua |

Put a kiss on top of my head  
| Hahah , oh no | 

Watch me wave, you watched me wave
| Yes, I clearly remembered how forlorn was your face when I was about to leave.. how sweet | 
 
Then you went on home to your skyscrapers  
| Aw, aha dapit imung skycrapers?? Haha | 

Neon lights and waiting papers  
That you call home, you call it home
| You went home ..the home with them |
 
I wish I could lay down beside you when the day is done 
And wake up to your face against the morning sun  
But like everything I've ever known, you disappear one day  
So I spend my whole life hiding my heart away
 
I woke up feeling heavy hearted  
| Especially on the day you tied the knot with her |

I'm going back to where I started   
| I was pretending to be very strong, I've been trying to |

The morning rain, the morning rain
| Baha badeng! Baha!!! | 
 
Although I wish that you were here  
| Do I need to still say that? |

That same old road that brought me here  
| I went to those places where we used to roam around...often ( REALLY OFTEN) thinking that I can see you everywhere |

Is calling me home, it's calling me home
| Then I realized how incredibly difficult it was for us. The timing was really very BAD! |
 
I wish I could lay down beside you when the day is done  
And wake up to your face against the morning sun  
| Of course, I fancied getting married on the right time and doing things in God's perfect time |
 
But like everything I've ever known, you disappear one day 
| Yes, I allowed you to disappear and I am still not sure if it was right even if I think it was..again.."heroic". |
 
So I spend my whole life hiding my heart away 
| So, I busied myself with so many things in an attempt to get over it |
 
And I can spend my whole life hiding my heart away
| I disagree in this line of the song... I can't spend my whole life hiding my heart away. I am thankful I met you! I already know what kind of man I really want..it's someone like you!|


 

Oct 17, 2012
Wednesday
1:00 pm

This one looks like an infinity pool in Indonesia that I saw online. I wanted to really capture it's beauty and I hope I offered justice in this photo. :D

I've been here since I was young . I could still imagine how thrilled we were whenever my Father and Mother would decide to take a plunge here . \(*O*)/ I love cold springs because it's so hot here in the Philippines.

I tried to improve the first photo I took by trying to show some parts of the sky . I think this photo is better than the first one I took. What do you think?

This the second pool. There are four big pools in that resort.

This is my bff Lolie. She is my cousin's girlfriend.

What I love about this place is that I can enjoy seeing verdant scenes.It's really relaxing here.

Enjoying life <3

This is the first pool. So clean!

I wanted to bring this home but I can't. I can't steal them you know!Hahaha I wanted to!

Oh, so pretty!

This is me and my pretty Mom. We went to this resort after lunch. It was not really planned. All of a sudden we decided to go here and poooff we reached the place and took gazillion pictures. Haha! We enjoyed taking pictures. I love unplanned trips!

Visitors can rent these cottages for 2 to 3 dollars.

That big cottage is the biggest one they have. Weddings, birthdays and seminars are usually held there.

I took this on our way home. Oh! I love the serenity!

A typical countryside scene.

A pose with my bff Lolie. Our backdrop is the nearby corn field.(Oops I really didn't notice I was still bringing my towel.Hahah)

This one summons so many memories of my childhood... sweet memories I must say.

When I was young I wanted to have wings and fly. Now, I wanted to try flying without wings! I want to try sky-diving!

I see this everyday!

Banana plantations along the road and some people driving motorcycles (without helmets). Scary huh?

The corns I don't own. Hahah

I love sudden trips and I love savoring every moment of my youth.

Photos were taken inside my purple room. It was still so early in the morning and I don't really need to wear sunglasses outside .Hahaah I just tried to take photos of myself wearing my sunglasses (just checking if I look cool wearing it..haha).This was taken before I started traveling to my school.(Oct.13,2012)

 Hello! I finally finished my two examinations. Yes, only two. I was supposed to take three final examinations last Saturday but my Professor decided to move our Business Policy and Strategy exam on Oct. 20. Actually, I wanted all my examinations to end that day. I wanted to be free from the burden of studying so many things. However, I think God knows that I should study more so He moved my last exam to another date. Hahah! Well, at least ,I only have one exam to worry about. :D

My accounting examination went SOOOOOO fine! Hahaha... I answered the easy questions first . I was perplexed ,yes, but I was expecting the examination to be so difficult that I might not be able to answer many questions. Oh well, it was difficult but not as much as I expect it to be. I was soooooooo happy!!! I was actually the 4th one to finish the exam . Cheers! On that day, I also received my ratings for our oral defense during our Management Control System Forum and I got a 1.0 grade ( here in the Philippines, a 1.0 rating is the highest rating a Professor can give ). Cheers! Our paper received a 1.25 remark(another cheers!credits to my group-mate Christian Paul who really drafted the paper.Hugs Christian,you are really gifted!!  ). The weekly written analysis of the cases that we submitted as a group(which I am usually the only one making) also received mostly 1.0 remarks. How could I not be be VERY happy? Thanks to my God who gave me the energy and wisdom to finish the tasks. Accounting was never an easy subject for me. It was my great God who gave me all what I needed! Yeah, I got dark circles under my eyes and I was sleep deprived for several occasions but I am very happy that all my efforts paid off . Wow! How fulfilling!

For my Competitive Strategies in a Global Economy examination, I think the most difficult question was about how the Philippine government should deal with the conflict with China so that the Banana industry can survive. Oh, it was difficult!Generally, I am hopeful that my essay answers could satisfy my very smart Professor (fingers crossed :D).

For my last class, that's my 4pm -7pm class, our Professor decided to move the exam. Oh! I am hopeful I'll do well on this exam next Saturday. I'll give it my best and God will do the rest. \(*0*)/

I will miss my classmates T.T

I thank God for allowing me to meet amazing people. My perspective in life really improved because of them. God is really using different ways for me to learn well His lessons in life. I can really feel that the best is yet to come and I am very thrilled about what will happen to me. Yes, I have plans but I know God loves to surprise me. My plans might fail but I am confident God is just telling me that He has BETTER plans. I failed so many times and over the years I have developed a deep trust to Him because there were so many things that I thought was a "failure" and then later on I realized it was "a way" to realize God's better plans.

Yes, I was physically exhausted last Saturday but my heart was really filled with joy. Even though I arrived home so late and I woke up so early the next day ( I woke up 4 am on the next day because I have duties in the church) , I was reinvigorated by the idea that I am on my way into making my life really fruitful.

I am hopeful that I will only end up in something really very good. If it's not very good,then it's not the end. I am born victorious! Ganbatte Janie!

Photos taken last Sunday (Oct,14) after I went to church. Yes, I strive hard to improve my career but this not my priority. My priority is my spiritual life. After all, this place is not my "real" home. I am just a traveler here. My real home is the new Jerusalem.