I love You Grandpa

Posted Tuesday, June 14, 2011 by deehan1914

I love You Grandpa
*note: I posted this on my FS and FB years ago..I am posting it again here for you to be reminded of the simple things in life....Before you read..please have sometime to think about your grandparents...Think of that sweet way they smile upon seeing you

Yes, honestly I am now sad. ..
Sad that I am not there now near my ill grandfather… I wish to comfort him and give him my super hug like what we used to do. I wish to go home and I wish to have our afternoon walks again. I miss the way he calls my name.
I am sad because I am afraid i might have brought him a lot of worries and I am afraid I am running out of time in showing him I don't mean to disappoint him. I am afraid my mea culpa is not enough.

I'm currently full of regrets.

I should have not screamed at my naughty brother knowing that it would break his heart hearing his only two grandchildren fighting. I should have been calmer.
I should have not gone home late during high school days so that we should have had our afternoon walks together with his dog. I was busy with school things and I failed to realize what a bliss it should have been to my grandfather if we walked together as he wished.
I should have been more mindful of his request. I know I was wrong when I prioritized my friends.
and above all....I should have not made him worry about me when I seemed to be a brat.

I am afraid I might not have enough time to show him that I miss our old days.
I am afraid I might not have enough time to make him feel that his only granddaughter cared for him beyond words could say.
I am afraid I am not doing now what should be done.

But this I am certain,

He loves me even if I sometimes disappoint him.
I guess it is not right to feel so sad.
I should be glad that He is my super Tatay...
I feel blessed in the grandeur way at times this thing crosses my mind- My family is amazing...

* My grandfather died a year after I wrote that.. and he was buried on the same date that I celebrated my birthday.. There was no other available date  for friends and relatives to come  that time..except Aug 16, 2009...STRANGE!!

Still.. I believed that God arranged it that way so that... on my every birthday celebration... I will always remember how triumphant my grandfather  was... that his death was  not something I should always consider as a sad thing...(though I still caught myself feeling that way even up to now)... My Tatay finished his race... and his life was beautiful... how about mine? How about yours? How will we make it beautiful?

I will always remember my grandfather... hopefully like the way he used to remember me when it was already meal time.

* Tatay/Lolo means Grandfather in Filipino Language.



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