Deehan's Pensieve

[Feb.24,2012 9:20 Am]

Wedding ceremonies usually make me cry. Today, a childhood friend, who once shared same haircut, will walk down the aisle and tie the knot. I will surely have another tear of joy.

Recently, I knew a lot who got married and I am very happy for them. It must be wonderful to be able to promise your lifetime with someone. How touching it is that someone is to promise before God that he will forever take good care of you in sickness and health.

I never had a boyfriend, I never considered my special friendship with someone during my University days and someone over a year ago as something as special as being in a relationship, say, boyfriends and girlfriends. We mutually liked each other. However, I knew something was lacking. I knew I must consider many things and not rush relationships. I am not afraid of responsibilities. I know the meaning of that word that’s why I am still single right now.

Today, I decided to write my present view about marriage. The “right now”, the time when I am typing these words, is precious. I wish to write my thoughts and make them eternal.  This will be thrilling.

I promised to myself that I will never entertain the idea of divorce. If someone will marry me, I will right away tell him that in case he might fall out of love, I could not offer him divorce. Many might be angry because for them divorce was the best thing they did. How could that be when God said He hates divorce?

Since I don’t want divorce, I must carefully choose and pray for a good husband. One can’t expect a good husband if she herself is not preparing to be worthy of one. There must be equilibrium. How could God give His wonderful and very-good-husband-material son to woman who does not even know what common courtesies are?  It would be unfair. I’ve read about the article ‘Becoming Esther” and yes, I perfectly agree to this notion. Hence, I must prepare myself too. I must strive to be worthy of such husband.

I think I can’t marry a modern man. A modern man is someone who thinks PMS is okay. A man who thinks that divorce is an option, a man who thinks that work and other material things are of paramount importance and a man who thinks cheating is a normal thing.

I am trying to be careful because I don’t want to end up miserable. I stopped wondering of having a boyfriend now because I want to enjoy the present season in my life. Being single is a season which might never be in my hands and so I am trying to savour these beautiful days. I reached the stage where I am no longer jealous of others having wonderful boyfriends. I wish them more happiness and peace. I am optimistic that in God’s time, when God will know I am ready, He will give me the man he made for me.

I decided to marry before the age of 30. Why? It is simply because I worry about the health of my future child. Yes, child. I intend to have only one. I want to be with my child longer so I must be married before the age of 30. I don’t wish to die before my child is to marry nor before his University graduation. Hence, I must give birth before the age of 30.If ever it will be a boy, I want him to become a church minister. If it will be a bouncing baby girl then I wish she could marry a church minister. Anyway, whatever they wish to become, I will let them as long it is with accordance to God’s doctrines. My mother does not want me to marry a church minister. I am also in doubt of my abilities. Maybe I could not do the duties of a church minister’s wife. I have been thinking that if I was born male, I would certainly become a church minister.

I will get married to a guy who will love God more that he will love me. In that way, I know he can never cheat nor disregard me and our family. So what is an ideal man for me? I don’t  know what God is planning but I wish to have someone who has the following characteristics. First, a man who has church duties and deep faith in God and a man who will always take care his sacred duties. Second, it might be too much but I pray for a man who value elderly people, a man who pays respects and could take care of elderlies. I have been always close to my grandparents and I will not like someone who doesn’t care. Third,  a man who knows his duties and remembers them always. I am not expecting a perfect man as I am not perfect myself however , those qualities are what I am looking for.

I will remain optimistic and hard working.Aja Aja!

 [February  24 ,2012   Contract Singning, Aling's wedding Iglesia Ni Cristo Church Compostela, ComVal]